Discomfort and Personal Growth

I’ve recently learned that getting comfortable with discomfort is an important skill. We all need to cultivate it. Life is not always pretty or simple, or, let’s face it, easy. Life can be hard and it can be ugly. It can be downright uncomfortable.

Popular psychology will tell you that you should never feel anything but good and happy and comfortable. It really does us a disserve. There are great learning lessons in every emotion or feeling we face. We should not be afraid to feel and definitely not afraid to feel discomfort.

Right now, I’m uncomfortable as all heck. My life has not been going easy. I am having difficulties I did not imagine or anticipate. I am also learning a lot about myself as a result and learning that life still goes on even if everything is not perfect.

We need to lean into discomfort and discover what it has to teach us. Yes, we can learn a lot from discomfort. We can become better as people. I want to be the best version of myself. Lately, I haven’t been and it’s come back to bite me.

Yes, even life coaches don’t get it perfectly. We struggle. We’re human. We make mistakes. However, as a life coach, I feel obligated to learn from my mistakes. I try not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I’m not saying it never happens. That would be a life. However, I’m getting better at it and I’ve uncovered a whole bunch of new messes to get myself into.

Life is messy. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. In those moments and experiences, we can learn so much about who we really are and what we are capable of handling. We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. If we are okay with being uncomfortable and living with discomfort, we will see just how much we can accomplish.

We are amazing creatures and meant to do so much. So, feel your discomfort and get comfortable with it. If you need help getting there, I’m available for sessions. I’d love to work with you on this process. I’ve been there. Heck, I am there. I know what you’re going through.

Contact me at 512-484-7634 today.

What’s a Badass

badassAs a badass coach, I only like to coach badass people. What does that even mean? What’s a badass? Well, I, for one, am a badass. I have conquered so many things in my life. I won’t get into them here, but know that I’ve been through some significant shit and I’ve survived it all.

That’s badass.

So many people think that being a badass is a negative thing. It’s not, not if you look at in the right way. Some define a badass as a bully. Well, I know that bullying is not what being a badass is. It’s the opposite. A badass would never bully someone because they understand that life is full of challenges and people all face their challenges in their own way.

A badass owns his or her shit and lets other people own theirs. They respect people who take responsibility for their actions. A badass is an honorable person. They have high character and take integrity seriously. A badass is authentic and kind but they are tough as nails.

I am able to handle anything life throws at me. I have the quiet confidence that comes with that knowledge. I can help you get that in your life. I love to help people find their inner badass. I believe everyone is a badass. Everyone has shit to get through in this life. No one goes unscathed through the hellfire and damnation that we face day to day.

Life is hard but you don’t have to be. A badass can remain tender during the most difficult times in life. They can remember that life is worth living and the things that make life worth living for are worth fighting for. What are those things? Family, relationships, children and self-respect. They are the great intangibles that people really get jazzed about.

Are you ready to find your inner badass? Great! I’m ready and willing to help you. It will be hard work, but it will be so fulfilling. Call me today to set up a consultation or discovery call. I’m ready for you.

Self-Care – What It Is and Why We Should Do It

self-careSelf-care is a big phrase that’s being bandied about in the world of self-help these days. I hear life coaches, therapists and many other self-help professionals use it, but it seems like they don’t fully understand what it means. Self-care is a concept that is seemingly easy to define but very difficult to master.

What is self-care?

Self-care is basically taking good care of yourself. When you practice caring for yourself, you are treating yourself like the precious creature that you are. We are all special and important. However, we often don’t treat ourselves as if we were that way. We give all of our love, care and compassion to others. There’s not enough left over for ourselves.

Fill your cup up first

You know when you’re on an airplane and the flight attendant says to you that you should put the oxygen mask on yourself first before attempting to put it on anyone else. Well, that’s what self-care is about. You need to fill your cup up first. You have to make sure that you’re doing well and that you’re feeling healthy. It’s not selfish. It’s self-protective. So many people think that they don’t have the time or the right to engage in caring for themselves, but that’s not true. Taking care of yourself is vitally important.

What kinds of activities can be labeled as self-care?

Truthfully, there are so many activities that can be labeled as self-care.  You don’t need a lot of money or any  money to engage in them at all. It can be as simple as eating when you’re hungry or drinking water when it’s warm out. Caring for yourself can be taking an Epsom salt bath or a nap when you’re tired or cranky.

Exercise is a great form of self-care. Do what gives you joy. There’s no wrong way to do this, but you should do it every day. Make time for yourself. You’re worth it.

A final word on self-care

Self-care is not selfish. Let me reiterate that. Women especially think that taking time out for themselves is a selfish act. It is not. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to take care of others. We have more left in the fuel tank for them. If we don’t practice good self-care routines and methods, then we will NOT burn out. Burn out is a terrible condition to live in but so many of us accept it as necessary. If you feel burnt out, practice extreme self-care. Sleep, eat, rest, relax, and read.  Just do whatever it takes to get to feeling better. I consider it an emergency situation and one that you need to pay attention to.

Good luck on your self-care journey. It’s yours and you own it. Make it your own. If you need help on learning how to practice self-care, just contact me at 512-484-7634. I am happy to teach you how to care for yourself.

What Can You Expect from Me During our Free, 60-Minute Consultation?

consultationI’ve been re-thinking my free, 60-Minute Consultation call and my whole enrollment process lately. I really want to show you what I can do instead of telling you what I do. You may not be aware of what a life coach does and that’s okay. You don’t need to know anything about it to work with me.

What does the 60-Minute Consultation include?

At this point, you get a full 45 minute session with me with 15 minutes left over for you to ask me questions about life coaching and what I can offer you. I am not here to impress you or educate you. I am here to help you. Yes, I do want to be your life coach, but I want you to be aware that I am not going to do more work than you are. You have to put the work in to get the results you want.

What is life coaching?

Life coaching is a collaborative effort. The coach works with the client to help the client live their best life. I can’t want your best life for you more than you do. Otherwise, we won’t work. You need to be highly motivated to make changes in your life and be willing to take the necessary steps to get there. Coaching is NOT therapy. I will NOT ask you to go into your trauma. If you need that, I will refer you to therapists I know who are better equipped to help you.

If you are ready to stay in the present and make your future the best it can be, then work with me. I am here for you.

Aren’t you just a bariatric life coach?

Um no. I know my website more than implies that I work only with bariatric patients, but it’s not the case. Obviously, I am certified as a life coach. I can work with you on a wide variety of topics. Guess what? I have handled relationship issues, basic life changes, weight loss and other things. I don’t just help bariatric patients although they are my specialty given my unique life experience and circumstances. If you’re looking to change something about yourself and do the work, then I’m here to help you. Let’s have that free, 60 minute consultation call and see what I can do for you.

What else do I need to know before I hire you?

Not much. I’m here for you. Truthfully, I just provide support and a safe space. I am not a judgmental person or coach. I really just let you be you and help you where you’re at in the process. I am trained to do this and I take my ethics and training seriously. If you have questions, contact me. I’m happy to address them. If you’re ready to experience coaching, let’s do the 60-minute consultation and see where it leads. My prices are affordable and I can work with you. I will NOT turn someone away because they can’t pay my full rate. Let’s talk about it together.

If you’re ready to set up a free consultation call, just email me at dcgoodson@gmail.com or phone me at 512-484-7634. I’m here and ready to put you in my schedule.

What Are Your Core Values – And Why Should You Figure Them Out?

core valuesCore values are the principles and ethics you hold most dear. They define who you are, believe it or not  When you live in alignment with your core values, life is easier and more meaningful. Your actions have purpose and you sort of just know what to do next. Core values are kind of the blueprint for your life.

Putting a name to your Core Values

I’ll attach a document to this post that lists a bunch of core values. Some common ones include:

    • Compassion,
    • Authenticity,
    • Honesty,
    • Integrity,
    • Selflessness,
    • And Support.

My Core Value

For me, my core value is authenticity. It requires me to be 100% honest. To some people that seems like I just enjoy engaging in TMI. That’s not true. I do share myself and my story with people, but not everything. I do, believe it or not, hold some things back. I just believe that, as a life coach and author, it’s my duty to share as much of my journey as I can with you. By living in alignment with my core values, I know what I can share with you and what I shouldn’t or don’t feel comfortable sharing.

I can tell you that I’ve lived life without being in alignment with my core values and it was much more difficult. As part of my life coach training, we went through an exercise that helped us define our core values. I like to do this with my clients and will be running through it on my Bariatric Badass podcast with Alannah Byers, my friend and fellow life coach.

How do you figure out your core values?

It’s simple, really. You just choose ten values that speak to you.  You write them down. Then, you scratch out five, then two more. Finally you circle the one value that means the most to you. This is, essentially, your core value. You will want to do things to live your life according to that value. You will want to show up for yourself and others. You will find that you feel more value in your life.

I really can’t stress it enough. If you want to do a core values assessment with me, today, just make an appointment. First appointment is free.

Values List – Online Coaching – 2017

Finding Out Our Pain Points

pain pointsAs a life coach, I have to be in tune with what causes my clients pain. I am not a big fan of this part of my  job. In fact, I’ve asked for help to get clarity on what exactly causes my clients pain. Is losing weight their main goal of bariatric surgery? No, not usually. For me, I wanted to lose enough weight to get knee surgery. That was my why.

Ironically enough, I’ve lost enough weight and taken the stress off my knee to no longer need knee surgery. It’s a great feeling, but what do I most want now. I had to have a talk with my friend Belldon Colme to figure it out. He’s a health coach who does some amazing work at https://belldoncolme.net/.

What are my pain points?

He and I do very different things so I don’t mind sending you out to him. He poked and prodded at me to figure out what I want most. I want to wear sexy shoes and clothing without my skin getting in the way. Yes, I have loose skin and it’s painful for me to look at. I feel like a failure. My daughter calls it accomplishment because there’s no fat there anymore. I call it a hollow victory…literally.

Why do I struggle with body image?

I feel insecure about the loose skin and am struggling with my body image. I had hoped the surgery would’ve taken care of that problem. I had hoped for too much. Now, I wonder – what do you hope for? I am setting up free calls with people over the next three weeks. I want to talk to people for an hour, just a conversation. I want to learn your pain points, your driving factors. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to learn how I can help you or someone like you as a life coach.

Why I want to talk to you about pain points?

Call it market research or call it curiousity. I just want to know how I can be of assistance to emotional overeaters and bariatric patients. Email me at dcgoodson@gmail.com. I am ready to collect data and information from you. Help me help others. I need you. I will be available nights, weekends and days for you. The calls should last an hour or less.

Please email me today for more information on how you can help me help people find their pain points and learn to eradicate them. Thanks.

What a support group is and isn’t?

Last night, I had a difficult experience. I went to a so-called support group. The vibe was very negative. There was a ‘presentation’ in a classroom. It felt like a lecture hall more than a support group. The moderators and leader were very rude and all-knowing. When a poor woman mentioned she was having cake cravings, they jumped down her throat.

This made me realize what I don’t want in a support group.

  • Judgement
  • Food policing
  • Negativity
  • Presentations without sharing

We also didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves. Sure, we wore name tags, but the room was so big I really didn’t ‘see’ people’s names.

Here’s what I think a support group should be. It should be light-hearted and discussion forward. People should be encouraged to share their journeys. You can have an ‘expert’ in the room, but that ‘expert’ should listen more than they speak. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

People in the support group should have time to introduce themselves and build camraderie. People should be allowed to talk about the problems and pitfalls they find themselves in and get supportive, kind answers from the group. No one should be shamed or made to feel bad. That should be a ground rule and one that the group agrees on.

A support group is not a dictatorship. It is richer for having people’s experiences shared. It is helpful to hear from members at different levels of the bariatric journey or whatever journey they’re on. I want to bring people together, not tear them apart.

I want to build people up and give them the tools they need to succeed. Maybe someone could have told this woman that it’s okay to crave foods. You can choose to give in to the craving or not. It’s up to you. Yes, there may be consequences (i.e., dumping) to the action, but those are consequences you should understand and be aware of. They’re not meant to scare of hinder you.

You have to live your life as a bariatric patient and sometimes that life includes cake. I wish I had said something in the support group to help that woman, but I felt like it would’ve fallen on deaf ears. This morning, I’m still thinking about her and hope she is okay.

I also hope that she has enough self-respect not to go back to that so-called ‘support group.’ For more information on my support group offerings, please visit my Facebook page.

I am offering an online group and one in Austin at Genuine Joe’s Coffee shop. They are six weeks in duration and I ask you to commit to all six weeks. It’s not that much time and I do believe you will get something out of it. I will also ask you for your feedback and participation. I want it to be your support group, not mine. I’m just there to facilitate.

I hope you sign up and I hope to see you either online or at Genuine Joe’s in August. If these work out, I will be offering them more often. I wish you love, light and support today on your journey, wherever you are. If you want cake, eat some, but enjoy the hell out of it. Make it worth your while.

Keep CALM with the CALM Plan

calm

The CALM plan is something I learned during the course of my support group workings with Alexa Sparkman. Alexa is a nutrtitionist in the Austin, TX area. She has a wonderful program called “Overcoming Mind Hunger.” You can visit her website at http://www.sparkmannutrition.com if you are interested in learning more about it.

What is the CALM plan

In her support groups, which I have taken multiple times, Alexa talks about the CALM plan for handling cravings.  There are four steps or actions to take with the CALM Plan. They are:

  1. Connect to consciousness – This is where your previous training comes in. Connecting to consciousness means that you are present in your mind and you know what’s going on. You are aware that you are having a craving.
  2. Alleviate anxiety – As an aware individual, you understand that you are having some difficulty overcoming this craving. You are able to regulate your emotional mind and get back into a calmer place. You can do this. You can overcome your craving.
  3. Logical liabilities. These are the lies you tell yourself to make it okay to emotionally overeat. For example, “I had a rough day, so I deserve that ice cream sundae.” As you go through the process, you will figure out what your logical liabilities are. Access them and let them have free reign. Tell them you know what they’re trying to do and they will go away.
  4. Mobilize and move on. Your craving, by this time, has probably passed. You can now go back to your life, craving free. Cravings don’t last and we don’t have to give into them just because we have them. You have a choice.

How can you use the CALM Plan to help you

The important thing for you to remember is that the CALM plan takes time to work. It is not a tool you can put in your toolbox overnight. Like anything worth having, it requires skill and practice. I cannow use the CALM plan when I have a craving. I know it will pass, usually in less than 5 minutes. I used to be scared of cravings. I am not anymore.

You can use the CALM plan. It will work. I promise. I will be offering my own support groups. They are six weeks long and free to the public. They begin the first full week in August (we skip Labor Day week) and then finish up around the 15th. I will have more information here and at my Facebook site.

I hope I can provide help for people the same way Alexa did for me. Good luck and keep ‘CALM.’

 

My Approach as a Coach

I don’t know if you’re wondering this or not, but I’m going to tell you anyway. As a coach, I am client-centered. Do you know what that means? It means that the session is all about you. I believe that you have all the answers you seek within you. You know what you need to succeed in life. You are enough. You have everything your heart desires and all of the tools you require to be and do exactly what you want.

You are a beautiful, amazing creature who can live the best life possible. The universe wants you to do this. Whatever entity you believe in (and even if you don’t) wants you to have a great, enjoyable life.

You need to give yourself permission to do this. I can’t give you the permission. It must come from within. What I do is listen to you. I ask questions based on your statements and my intuition. I hold the space for you so you can do this difficult work. I understand and empathize with you. I am there for you, supporting you through this all.

I may not have been where you’ve been, but I can understand why you feel the way you do. I will normalize your emotions and make you feel heard because I am really listening to you. I care about you and what you have to say. You are special to me because you are my client and a child of the universe.

I have compassion for you and great love. I want you to succeed. I want it so badly for you. I hope you want it as badly for yourself.

Together, we will have transformative conversations. We will move mountains in your life. Are you ready to be the best you you can be? Great. Call me today at 512-484-7634 and set up your free consultation call.

I’m Officially A Life Coach

Last night, I completed my certification program through Rhodes Wellness College. I loved the experience of experiential learning that Rhodes has to offer. I feel prepared and ready to take on the world. I want to make an impact as a life coach and as a person.

I feel that Rhodes is a great program for anyone who wants to help themselves and others. I took each lesson to heart and really implemented it in my own life. I feel ready to help others. I have learned so much about empathy, problem solving, the stages of change and more.

I am competent. I am capable. I have worked with my classmates, whom I adore. They are all strong women and I would highly recommend any of them if we were not a natural fit. I plan to continue to follow their progress and spearhead a once-monthly meeting where we connect and share.

I also plan to peer coach with a few of them because I do want to get my International Coach Federation (ICF) credentials. That’s my first goal as a life coach. I really want to be there for my clients and show them how authentic I am. I love being a life coach. It’s my dream job and I am passionate about it.

I’m so proud of my accomplishment an I am amazed that I did it. I am celebrating me today and encourage you to celebrate yourselves for whatever you can find to celebrate. You deserve to celebrate you.

Namaste.