Badass Movie Reviews: RBG

RBGRuth Bader Ginsburg, or as she has become more commonly known as the Notorious RBG, is the subject of a brilliant documentary directed by Julie Cohen and Betsy West. RBG, as we’ve come to know and love the unlikely feminist and liberal icon, was born in Brooklyn. She had an interesting and somewhat difficult childhood. Young Ruth was quiet and reserved but brilliant. She did not go to her own high school graduation because her mother passed away from cancer. We found out she also lost a sister, but the documentary doesn’t state why.

College and Law School Years

As Ruth Bader entered Cornell University, she met Marty Ginsburg, a gregarious young man who would prove to be the yin to her yang. The two began a love story that would last more than fifty years until Marty’s untimely death in 2010. Ruth and Marty went on to Harvard Law School, where young Ruth, now a mother to her daughter Jane, learned to take care of both Marty, who was ill with testicular cancer, her daughter and herself. Her steely resolve earned her a coveted position on the Harvard Law Review. This was unheard of for a woman at the time.

Being one of few women in her class was probably difficult for her, but you’d never know it. Bader Ginsburg already showed the steely resolve that makes her the great dissenter on the current Supreme Court. She would leave Harvard for Columbia Law to finish her degree only to follow Marty, who got a job as a tax attorney in New York.

Post Law School

For several years, Bader Ginsburg would struggle finding work as a female lawyer, largely due to discrimination against her gender. She would take that cause up in 1972, when she became the co-founder of the Women’s Rights Project at the ACLU. She would go on to argue six cases against the Supreme Court for the ACLU, five of which she won.

A Jill of Many Legal Trades

Professor, lawyer, advocate and trailblazer, Bader Ginsburg won a spot on the U.S. Court of Appeals. She was nominated by Jimmy Carter in 1980. She and Marty moved to Washington at this point and the focus was placed on her career. Her children tell of a childhood in which mama barely laughed or joked or cooked. It seems that Marty was content to let her shine despite her less glossy personality.

Supreme Court Dreams

In fact, when Bader Ginsburg was being considered for a Supreme Court nomination in 1993 under then-president Bill Clinton, he was her biggest advocate and lobbied for her to be on the Court. Whether Marty had much sway remains to be seen. Clinton, himself, said that, upon meeting Ginsburg that, ‘he knew within 15 minutes’, that he wanted her on the Court.

She was the second woman to serve on the Supreme Court, after Sandra Day O’Connor and the most liberal to date. Interestingly enough, Bader Ginsburg’s politics have only become more liberal as the Court has moved to a more conservative bent in recent years. She has become known as the outspoken ‘dissenter’ who makes eloquent and impassioned pleas that the Court not be removed from American life and look at the Constitution as a moving, living, breathing document that changes with the times.

Unlikely Friends

Unlike her good friend and fellow justice, the now-deceased Antonin Scalia, Bader Ginsburg thinks the Constitution is not a product of its time, but meant for all time. The two’s unlikely friendship is catalogued in the documentary and it’s sweet to see two people who have very different politics come together in their respect for each other and their love of opera.

Conclusion

In essence, RBG is a love letter to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but it’s one that’s well deserved. I think this is a movie that everyone should see. The Notorious RBG has earned her moniker and her place in American History. She is a true icon. A hero. A badass.

A New Look at Emotional Eating

food-profile_image-0a2c3ed2f8d119ea-300x300I recently received an email from a coach who is a friend of mine. He runs a very special program, where you learn about metabolism and how the body works. It’s weight loss amped up and done in an intelligent and mindful manner. For more information on Belldon Colme, visit the website at: https://BelldonColme.net

I was struck by the title “Emotional Eating and How to Beat It.” You may or may not know that I was a strong emotional eater for a very long time. I got a lot of help in overcoming it. It wasn’t easy and sometimes, I do see myself slipping into the old, known ways of coping with stress and pressure. For me, a cookie used to be comfort; a pint of ice cream was like a hug. Life is not that way for me now.

The thing about Belldon’s post that struck me was that it was unique in its outlook. Not many people will give you straight talk about emotional eating. Why? They just don’t get it. Belldon does. I know he does. We’ve talked at length about it. Now, if you’ll bear with me, you’ll see what I mean.

In 2012, Belldon, who has been a coach longer than I have been, received a question from someone in his program. The person asked, “Do any of your successful clients ever cheat?”

You would think the answer would be a simple yes or no, but that’s not Belldon’s style. He is an information giver. He has studied nutrition, anatomy and physiology. He knows more about the metabolism than many doctors, surgeons and nutritionists. I’m not saying that lightly. I am being really honest. He has done the work. If you doubt it, just read his book, No One Ever Got Fat From Calories. I’m still working through it. In fact, I’m thoroughly digesting it. It’s an absorbing read.

Anyway, Belldon tells the person that they are thinking about food all wrong. Food is “an inanimate object. It’s not a thing you should be having a relationship with anyway.” How mind-blowing is that? He goes on to describe how people ‘personalize’ food. I know I did and sometimes, still do. We’re sort of taught to do that, aren’t we?

Regardless, eating or ‘cheating’ has consequences. You should be aware of those consequences. However, you make the choice on what goes in your body at a given moment. The choice is not made for you. “Cheating, shame and guilt make you think in absolutes.” Well, darn it. He’s right. Nutrition is a process. We need to eat to live and we need to do it every day. No one can be ‘perfect’ nor should they strive for it. Besides, what is perfect anyway? It’s a construct sold to us by Madison Avenue or a weight loss guru, or in many bariatric patients’ cases, a surgeon or even society.

We need to get out of our own way and remember that food does not have the power to help or hurt us. Food is just food. It’s fuel. It’s a necessary part of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be the most important part of our lives. Put food in its proper place and the rest will come.

Can you do that? I know I can.

Copyright 2015-2018 R Belldon Colme. All rights reserved. Do not reprint in any form, including electronic or digital reproduction, without the express written consent of R Belldon Colme. For more information visit BelldonColme.net

Is Bariatric Surgery Worth It?

questionmarkThis is not an easy question to answer. I can only answer it from a personal perspective. Please note that I am not a medical professional and this article does NOT serve as a substitute for medical advice. I am a life coach who specializes in working with bariatric patients at all levels of the spectrum. As a life coach, I do not give my opinions or advice. It’s not the way things work.

I believe you have the answers within you. I help you bring them out by listening intently and intuitively and by asking you specific questions that are designed to help you find clarity. If I were working with a patient who wanted to know if surgery was right for them, I would ask the following questions. I will answer them as myself, from my own experience.

What is causing you to feel the need for surgery?

I am sensing the need for surgery because I need to lose a lot of weight quickly. I have a bad knee and need to have knee replacement surgery. My orthopedist, nutritionist and primary care doctor think my best option going forward is to have the Sleeve. I can lose a lot of weight quickly, but I am concerned about malabsorption issues and the fact that I had such difficulty with the lap band. This is not reversible.

How do you think we can address those concerns?

Well, I honestly think that I need to weigh the pros and cons. I met with the surgeon and we discussed malabsorption. He said it was less of a problem with the sleeve than the RNY. So, I opted for the sleeve. It’s going to be a process and I will be going to my nutritional counselor. I have prepared mentally and do not feel the emotional attachment to food as I did when I had the lap band. I am in a different place and it’s a different surgery. I also need my knee. I can’t get down to a 40 BMI on my own. I’ve been trying for four years and I’ve only put on weight despite my best efforts. I weigh 387 and do not want to get to over 400 again.

Great! So you are already doing this on your own. Can you speak a little bit as to why you feel discomfort surrounding the surgery?

I’m concerned about money. Insurance only covers so much. We may need to pay thousands out of pocket. I know we can manage it, but it’s still quite the expense. I don’t know how I feel about making a permanent change to my anatomy. It seems so final and it can’t be undone so if I have complications then I will have to deal with them.

Yes, but you’ve dealt with more difficult things in the past and came out okay. Right?

Yes, I have, but this is just something I didn’t want to have to do. Now, I feel I need to do it.

Well, it sounds like you’ve come to a decision. Do you feel complete at this time about it?

Yes, I do. I feel much better and ready to handle this head on.

Conclusion

Now, the conversation we would have would go a bit differently because you would probably have different reasons and issues. I simplified this for you. Just know that any decisions made in a life coaching session are yours. They are not mine. I help you determine what’s right for you. I provide you support and encouragement. I hold the space for you.

I will have you know that my life coach and therapist helped me work through my concerns. I also spoke to the surgeon – I came armed with written-down questions. If I have one bit of advice, it’s to do your research but not be so broad in scope. The internet is full of horror stories that are just not going to serve you. Stick to the facts and embrace your fears. Almost a year out from surgery, I am down 130 lbs. and I don’t even need the knee surgery anymore.

Is bariatric surgery worth it? For me, it has been a lifesaver. For you, it may be something different. Contact me today and we can figure it out — together.

Bariatric Rules to Live By

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The bariatric life is not easy. Some people think it’s a quick fix or an easy way out but I am here to tell you that it’s not. You put in the work. You do the effort. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else. I have lost almost 140 lbs. and counting. I am serious when I say to you that I did that. I know I did. It’s my accomplishment. No one can take it away from me. I won’t let them. If you work with me, I will teach you the same too. You can overcome emotional overeating. You can succeed as a bariatric patient. You can do anything you set your mind to. You can become a bariatric badass like I am.

It’s within your power, you just have to believe.

Bariatric Rules

Okay, I’m going to be honest. I struggled with these, but you don’t have to. I’d suggest if you are still in the pre-op stage, to begin practicing now. Now, I will begin by letting you know that not every doc is the same. Rules vary among surgeon groups so I’d suggest you check with your doctor, but these bariatric rules seem pretty standards, so here goes.

  1. Eat small meals. Your stomach is small. Remember that. You can’t overfill it or you will get sick. You should probably stick to about 2-3 oz. per meal.
  2. Go slow. Your meals should take about half an hour to consume. Try to use small utensils so you take small bites. Be sure to chew each bite about 30 times so that it’s a bit of paste or liquid-y as it goes down. This can be hard to learn and I learned the hard way. You can easily throw up if you don’t follow this bariatric rule.
  3. Drink at least 64 oz. of fluid every day. More if you can. This will keep you hydrated.
  4. Make sure you get between 60 – 75 grams of protein a day. This is important to prevent muscle loss. You should also include some weight-bearing exercises as well to tone and keep extra skin to a minimum. This can be a hard goal for me to reach personally because I cannot eat meat. My surgeon told me that about 20% of his patients have the same problem. I am the most reluctant vegetarian ever, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I have found some good veggie burgers and plant-based protein supplements. I also drink at least one full protein shake made with soymilk every day.
  5. Do not drink soda or anything carbonated. It will stretch the stomach and impede weight loss.
  6. Please try to avoid drinking from a straw. Why? It causes air to build up in your esophagus and stomach which can lead to painful gas and stomach stretching.

Conclusion

Bariatric rules, like all other rules are there for a reason. Again, your surgeon’s office may differ from mine. I have found that these work for me and I have worked hard to make it so. I really hope that you can work on following the bariatric rules too. They will give you the opportunity to live the best bariatric life you can.

For more information, please feel free to call me for a free consultation today. I can be reached at 512-484-7634. If you are motivated to change, I am happy to work with you.

A Challenging Time

I feel my real power as a coach and as a person comes in sharing my story. Not everyone agrees with me, but they don’t define me so I’m going to get real here. I have had some complications from my current bariatric surgery. I still am pleased that I have had the surgery. I have gained more from it than I ever expected and well, I am proud of it.

However, a few months past I noticed that I was feeling stuck a lot. I threw up a little more. I thought I was eating too fast so I really watched that. It continued. In February, I called my surgeon and asked what to do. He suggested I see my gastroenterologist and get an endoscopy to find out what was going on.

Well, I did that. The GI doc had other ideas. He wanted to put me on an expensive medication that was basically Nexium. I’m sure he had his reasons, but I was disappointed.

Then, things got worse. I tried acupuncture and reiki. I was convinced it was me, that I had somehow not accepted the surgery or was eating the wrong foods or doing something wrong. I stopped eating after 5pm as the GI doc suggested. I made sure I got in my protein – even though I can’t eat meat (another complication) – and really made sure to eat slow. I started exercising again. I had stopped because I was so tired from throwing up. I just did it anyway.

I had a follow-up with the bariatric surgeon on March 21. He was upset that I was throwing up so much. He ordered a barium swallow. I had that on the 26th. The next day, he called me himself to tell me to go to the ER if I got dehydrated, which I haven’t, or get an endoscopy ASAP. The GI doc’s office originally wanted me to wait til the 29th to see someone to get approval for the endoscope. No. I complained and got an appointment that day.

I was hoping to have the scope that day. Didn’t happen. I have to wait until April 3, unless I get dehydrated first. Then, I must go the ER and my bariatric surgeon will make them admit me and scope me. I don’t want to get dehydrated. It’s not pretty. So I slowly sip drinks throughout the day and night. I am having trouble sleeping because I can’t hold down all of my medications.

I still don’t know what’s wrong and I hope on that day, I will get some answers. I am kind of hoping that the GI doc can’t fix it. I don’t really trust him. I have made an appointment for follow-up with a new GI doc on April 17.

I do not like being treated poorly by doctors. Basically, I am on liquids right now and potentially for the foreseeable future. I am bipolar and have to grind up my meds. They taste horrible. It makes me cry to do this. In fact, I’ve been mad and sad and have had a lot of emotions. I am just taking it as easy as I can and being gentle with myself and trying to laugh a lot.

I will fight. I am a warrior. Again, I do not regret this surgery. The problem is most likely easily fixable. I don’t want you to fear putting your needs first. I don’t want you to fear a health crisis. No matter what it is, you can cope with it. The not knowing is hard. I’m lucky to have great professionals like a life coach and a therapist and a psychiatrist. I’m lucky to have great friends. I love them so much. I have a fantastic family.

This only makes me stronger. It makes me more conscious that my passion is to help people like me overcome challenges. If I can do it, I know you can too.

Thank you for reading this post.

Bariatric Troubles

I understand bariatric troubles. My first surgery was in 2010. I was about 420 before the lap band. My doctor didn’t want to do it, but I was afraid of what I then called ‘mutilating my stomach.’ I had a sister who had the bypass and she was completely a mess. I know most of it was her own making, but there were mistakes by the surgeon as well.

I was scared to have the bypass. The sleeve wasn’t used then so the other options just seemed worse. I persuaded the surgeon to do the lap band. It happened in March of 2010. On surgery day, I was 397. I got down to about 268 in about a year and a half. I enjoyed a trip to Disney, but I was pretty miserable. I throw up a lot. We kept going in to readjust the filling and then sometimes taking out the filling on the lap band. I’m not going into specifics here, but basically you have a port, they put liquid in and it keeps your stomach ‘fuller’ so you eat less.

Eventually, I had to have the lap band removed. The new doctor I was using wanted me to get the duodenal switch. I said hell no and walked out of his office, vowing to lose weight on my own. I worked with a nutritionist and my therapist to figure out why I was addicted to food. You see I was really food addicted and I believe that many people who have these surgeries are. No one during this process prepared me for the feelings of loss and loneliness I’d feel without being able to overeat. No one told me that I would feel mental stuff because of this physical change.

I worked on myself for three years. I did try a lot of things to lose weight. I kept gaining. In December of 2016, I was at 387 lbs. I also tore my meniscus in my knee. I needed knee surgery but couldn’t have it because of my size. I decided to go back to a new doctor and get the sleeve. I went through the process. I prepared myself mentally and physically. I had the sleeve on June 6, 2017. I have, to date, lost 115 lbs from my high weight of 387. I still have a long way to go. 272 is good, but my goal is 175. I will get there.

Food is not an issue for me. I do still struggle with regurgitation and vomiting. I’m currently working with my surgeon to figure out what’s wrong. I have bad days and good days. I understand the process is not easy, but I am not a food addict anymore. Food is just food. A cookie, my food love, is now just a cookie and I don’t care if I eat it or not.

It’s very freeing and allows me to do other things and focus on other things like being a life coach and helping others like me. I’ve been there. I get it. Thank you for hearing some of my story.

My Approach as a Coach

I don’t know if you’re wondering this or not, but I’m going to tell you anyway. As a coach, I am client-centered. Do you know what that means? It means that the session is all about you. I believe that you have all the answers you seek within you. You know what you need to succeed in life. You are enough. You have everything your heart desires and all of the tools you require to be and do exactly what you want.

You are a beautiful, amazing creature who can live the best life possible. The universe wants you to do this. Whatever entity you believe in (and even if you don’t) wants you to have a great, enjoyable life.

You need to give yourself permission to do this. I can’t give you the permission. It must come from within. What I do is listen to you. I ask questions based on your statements and my intuition. I hold the space for you so you can do this difficult work. I understand and empathize with you. I am there for you, supporting you through this all.

I may not have been where you’ve been, but I can understand why you feel the way you do. I will normalize your emotions and make you feel heard because I am really listening to you. I care about you and what you have to say. You are special to me because you are my client and a child of the universe.

I have compassion for you and great love. I want you to succeed. I want it so badly for you. I hope you want it as badly for yourself.

Together, we will have transformative conversations. We will move mountains in your life. Are you ready to be the best you you can be? Great. Call me today at 512-484-7634 and set up your free consultation call.

One of my biggest fears

The other day I was looking through my online support groups on Facebook. I saw someone mention that they were a few years out of the bariatric surgery and couldn’t understand why they were gaining the weight back. They mentioned they weren’t exercising as much and eating ‘forbidden foods’.

I had to hold back my anger. Yes, a life coach can get angry. I’m still a human being. When I thought about why I was angry, I realized it was more fear. See, this person was expressing one of my biggest fears – that I’ll slip, fall back into my addiction and the weight will creep back on.

Even after losing 115 lbs, I fear this. I know that I’ve put in the work and the effort to lose the weight. I’ve also worked with professionals and on myself to get over the mind hunger. Mind hunger is the addiction. Food is an addiction. Particularly addiction to sugary and processed foods.

Food was the way I coped with everything – or not coped. I used it to soothe, to comfort, to stuff down what I was feeling because I felt the feelings were too painful to cope with. I wasn’t living my most authentic life. I was just existing.

Now, I live and I am a survivor. I am grateful for my life and the clarity that comes with eating well and taking care of myself. However, I feel like there’s still a monster inside of me waiting her time to come out and take over. Can I keep her at bay? Can I deal with her long-term? Am I strong enough to do this?

I don’t know all those answers. I suspect that I am. I have a workable program. I have professionals around me. I have a supportive family and I don’t honestly crave food the way I once did. I have coping mechanisms and I’m not so scared of feelings anymore.

I wish I could tell this person that they need to be aware of their behavior and that it’s possible to get help if they want it. I crave the ability to help people going through things like this. I want to show them that they can believe in their own power and they can overcome so much. Weight loss is a struggle of the mind, body and spirit. It’s not just about willpower or discipline. It’s about so much more.

I will continue my fight life-long and that’s okay. I’m up to the challenge.

Changing for Good

Changing for Good is a textbook that we used at Rhodes Wellness College in my life coaching class. It outlines six stages of change. We were taught to meet clients at whatever stage they are at. The stages are:

  • Precontemplation
  • Contemplation
  • Preparation
  • Action
  • Maintenance
  • Relapse

In the precontemplation stage, people are not yet ready to make a change. They may not even be aware that one is necessary. As a coach, you must be gentle with people in this stage and encourage them to educate themselves on the possibilities of change. However, you must remind them that this is their decision.

In the contemplation stage, people may be thinking of making a change in the next six months. They are thinking about it and are open to learning more about what change would look like. You must reinforce that it is their decision and help them explore the concept in greater detail.

Preparation stage is when people are about to make a change. They are preparing for it. They may even have been making small changes to dip their toes in the water so to speak. You must help people in this stage to find decisional balance. This is when the pros outweigh the cons. You should also encourage potential change makers to tell their friends and family so that they can have support. People are worried about failing here and by helping them get support and have a strong emotional attachment to making the change, you can help them do it.

In the action stage, a person is taking actions to make positive changes. You must encourage them in their efforts and help them to reward their successes, even the smallest of the small. You must also encourage them to be gentle with themselves if they have mild slip ups. You don’t want them to get in a punishment mode. That is detrimental. Be supportive.

In the maintenance phase, a person has made the change and its fairly consistent. They have either stopped smoking for over a year or lost all their weight. (These are just two examples). To help the person in maintenance, you want to keep reminding them of how good their life is now that they’ve made the change and minimize the feelings of loss from making the change. Don’t let them idealize life before the change.

If someone relapses, you should encourage them not to punish themselves. They should pick themselves up and look at the incident. Ask them to be curious about what the triggers were that caused it to happen and help them brainstorm ways to act in the future should those same triggers or different triggers arise.

This book is a real life saver for anyone. I highly recommend it to my clients.

I’m Officially A Life Coach

Last night, I completed my certification program through Rhodes Wellness College. I loved the experience of experiential learning that Rhodes has to offer. I feel prepared and ready to take on the world. I want to make an impact as a life coach and as a person.

I feel that Rhodes is a great program for anyone who wants to help themselves and others. I took each lesson to heart and really implemented it in my own life. I feel ready to help others. I have learned so much about empathy, problem solving, the stages of change and more.

I am competent. I am capable. I have worked with my classmates, whom I adore. They are all strong women and I would highly recommend any of them if we were not a natural fit. I plan to continue to follow their progress and spearhead a once-monthly meeting where we connect and share.

I also plan to peer coach with a few of them because I do want to get my International Coach Federation (ICF) credentials. That’s my first goal as a life coach. I really want to be there for my clients and show them how authentic I am. I love being a life coach. It’s my dream job and I am passionate about it.

I’m so proud of my accomplishment an I am amazed that I did it. I am celebrating me today and encourage you to celebrate yourselves for whatever you can find to celebrate. You deserve to celebrate you.

Namaste.